1.  Initiate a scene without having an outcome in mind.  We get so locked into our goals that we seldom enter a business scene for which we don’t have an outcome already scripted in our minds.  From an interview we want the job.  From a sales scene we want the sale.  From a scene with the boss we want the promotion.

There are two issues with focusing exclusively on our goals.  The first is that the people with whom we share our scenes usually have different goals from ours.   The interviewer’s goal is different from the interviewee’s.  A customer is not interested in helping the salesperson meet a sales quota.  A jealous boss might have the goal of turning an up-and-comer into a down-and-outer.  It’s been known to happen.  Focusing only on our desired outcomes can result in a tug-of-war for control of a scene, severely limiting the scene’s progress and potential.  Not good.

The second, and bigger, issue with being exclusively goal-oriented in our scenes, is that we diminish our potential for breakthrough moves.  Breakthroughs reveal unexpected avenues for productivity.  Breakthroughs can only happen if we are willing to let go of our expectations about what a scene needs to achieve.   And what is a goal but an expectation for a scene? (more…)