Dear GameChangers:

I love playing backgammon. I also see it as a metaphor for life. You can plan and strategize and still be affected by chance. The outcome of that chance affect may be favorable or unfavorable, and/or may be influenced by your level of preparedness, or strategy. then again it may not. Sometimes you need to take risks and be willing to accept the result.
Many of my friends see chess as a metaphor for life. A series of moves, or gambits, to be considered as a long range construct. Life as a series of calculations and movements.

Do you favor backgammon, chess or something different? If you have a metaphor for living, please share it.

Thanks,

Jesse Silver

Dear Jesse,

The great golfer, Ben Hogan, was 80 years old when he said that he learned something new about the game of golf every day. Obviously, at that age he was far from his playing prime. So what was he learning? He was learning what the game could still teach him about life.  About himself.
Though I seldom play these days, I took the game seriously for quite a few years. Here’s some of what golf has taught me.

Balance. Golf demands power and a delicate touch. So does life. Different situations call on different muscles.

Vision. The body executes what the mind sees. And there are all sorts of ways to visualize. You can visualize results (the landing area). You can visualize process (the swing). You can visualize direction (the shot).

Dealing with adversity. Golf is a game filled with adversity. The best players are adept at avoiding trouble, but if they’re in it, they know how to get out with minimal repercussions.

Humility. As Lee Trevino said, you can’t own a good golf game, you can only borrow it for awhile. Even the best in the world screw up ( see: Colin Montgomery and Phil Mickelson in the 2006 U. S. Open). It is a sport in which we are constantly reminded of the foibles and weaknesses that limit the potential of our game.

Foresight. Avoiding trouble and giving yourself the best chance for success requires an understanding of what lies ahead.

Discipline. You don’t get anywhere without hours, and weeks and years of practice. You don’t score if you don’t know your limitations. You don’t get tempted by low percentage plays.

Sound fundamentals. A good golf game comes from understanding the basics and building on them. A good shot begins with the stance, the set-up — then comes the swing. Everything works from the ground up.

Letting go. The more control you try to exert, the more errant your shot will be. In golf, as in life, it is about trusting yourself and relying on your instincts to see you through.

Focus. You learn to clear your mind and have one swing thought, no more. The more ‘noise’ you’ve got running through your head, the more uncertain your swing will be.

Imagination.  When faced with a situation they’ve never faced before, the best golfers can hit shots they’ve never hit before. And isn’t this true of life? Sometimes the only way to get where you’re going is to dream your way there…

M.

Dear GameChangers:

What future demand, if any, do you foresee for Emotional Intelligence training and coaching?

Christy Suerth

Dear Christy,

Emotional communication, or as you have defined it, ‘Intelligence’, is one of the many facets of improvisation, which is the foundation of the process I teach.

There are three levels of communication:

Cosmetic (what’s literal; the words coming out of our mouths; data; laws; our codes of ethics and behaviors).

Emotional (what moves us; our intentions; what’s intuitive; what we feel).

Meta (myth; our place in the cosmos; symbols; metaphor; allegory).

These three levels are nothing new.  The Greeks called them Ethos, Pathos and Logos.

There are two things particularly relevant in the Networked World that underscore the importance of the Emotional level of communication and Emotional Intelligence.

The first, is that the Emotional level is where most meaning resides, and is most connected to what drives and motivates us.  The implications in business are obvious.  Drs. Hanna and Antonio Damasio have done some compelling research to support the the theory that Emotion is the aspect of communication that matters most.  The Damasios have devoted years of research and countless pages of writing to it, and when you boil it down to its essence, it comes down to the idea that to be effective in the world, we should listen to our hearts.  (The business consultant and writer, Margaret Wheatley, focuses on this.)

The second reason that Emotional Intelligence will be hugely important in the future, Christy, is that in the Networked World, we are already swimming in Cosmetic and Meta communication.  The average urban-dwelling 18-34 yr old experiences 5K advertising messages per day — all of which consist largely of some mix of Cosmetic and Meta data.  Add the terrabytes of business and personal communication we generate and consume, and we are all in danger of drowning.  Emotional Intelligence will be at a premium because will be the level on which we make sense of it all, it’s what will keep us buoyant, and swimming in the direction of our dreams.

There are many other aspects to the art of improvisation in business, but being able to listen and connect emotionally is one of the most important. We’ve all got a lot of knowledge in our heads, our future will be determined by what’s in our hearts.

M.